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The current period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – For gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal quirks suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly kill any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {